Updated: Mar 5
FOR COUPLES WHO WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE— “MARRY/AGE”
The word “marriage” is a compound word that describes two realities— ‘marry” (to combine or cause to meet or fit together) and “age” (the length of time someone has lived or existed hence figuratively, maturity). Maturity describes one’s ability to respond appropriately and effectively to a given situation or circumstance. That’s where response ability or responsibility emanates from.
If you then marry both realities together you have the coming or fitting together of a man and woman through the necessary maturity that enables them to positively respond and add value to each other’s lives. This is the underlying current that drives marriage and makes it work. It is the truth that sets couples free to relate to each other as companions who are committed to the divine strategy of two becoming one. They become a formidable team and partnership that adds value to others.
Maturity plays a major role in the success or demise of relationships. Therefore, it is essential for couples to understand how maturity affects a person's ability to understand the concepts and implement the skills needed to form and maintain healthy relationships. Maturity is also very key to solving problems in marriage.
Because marriage is a product of character, one should never marry based on feelings and emotions. Marriage is for men and women, not for boys and girls.
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
A great marriage is not when the “perfect couple” comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their difference and to know and embrace the purpose of God for bringing them together. That is the definition of maturity. The problems found in marriages are unique to this great institution and must reveal solutions. You can’t use a problem to solve a problem. One partner or both must be wise enough to acquiesce to the other in order to oil the machine of the marital union.
Someone has said that “The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make–not just on your wedding day, but over and over again–and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.”
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. The goal must always be not to change your spouse but to work on changing yourself and thereby inspiring your spouse to make their own personal change.
By Tony Osuobeni